Unsent.

I was browsing through my old notes when I saw this letter.

Jun 19, ’08 10:12 AM
Mahal,
Almost three years have passed after our last fight–a fight that ended our 8-month old relationship.
My memories of that fight are vague already that I can’t even remember what we had argued about. What I remember is that I promised myself I will not enter into such relationship again. That never will I try to have someone come close to me as much as you did.
And so, I journeyed life taking all my experiences with you as a guide. I met a few people along the way.
I met Pharmacist. But things didn’t work out for us.
I had gone crazy over LBS. I sent personalized messages to this student . But I guess I was not meant to be the Right Man.
I let others fill the space in my heart that has been left vacant by you. But that space wasn’t filled up. People come and people go, some made me laugh, some gave me joy.


But they do not measure up to the happiness I found in you.  They can not even be compared to joy I feel when I am with you. I can’t even wear the smile I have when I am with you, in cases when I am with any of them.  They can’t make me laugh the way you do.
Seeing you walking towards me last nightmade me realize that after all those years of not seeing you,  of not being with you, time hasn’t changed the way I feel. I still am in love you.
Glancing at you while you were slowly bridging the distance between us made me realize…
…that in my pursuit for happiness, it was in you I am thinking of.
…that in my deepest moments, it was your company I am missing.
…that everything I search for someone to be there for me, it was you I was looking for.
Can we start all over again, mahal?
Still in love with you,
Ed

==========

ed’s note:


As what I have written on my tumblelog, 

If there was one thing I am thankful for ‘us’, that was we created very beautiful memories together.  I may not have framed every moment with you with my lens, but I have it all sketched in my mind and forever etched in my heart. 

Yes, I had lost you along my journey, but you left with me some things that I will always be grateful for.

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